Loss and Gain

On January 16, 2012 I blogged on “Letting Go of the Familiar.”  Today is May 14, 2012 and I’m still learning how important it is to let go.  I see the need to stay mindful so I can recognize when I need to leave something behind.

When the water dries up you can do one of two things. You can move on to another river or you can paint the rocks blue and pretend there’s still water. I cannot remember where or when I heard this but it has stuck with me and I think of it often.

image: freakingnews.com

When we’re caught in what is familiar and comfortable it is easy to paint the rocks blue. As long as we can pretend everything is okay we can stay put and not venture into the unknown. It’s scary to wander off from a comfortable, seemingly secure place, person, or experience.

I’ve had more than my share of leaving. In many cases I was told I was crazy to walk away from what looked secure. Every time I walked away or let go of somebody or something, I did so with fear and trepidation. It was never easy and it has not gotten easier.

I’ve tried painting the rocks blue many times, but in the end I did what I needed to do. I left or I let go. In hindsight I can see how much I’ve gained by stepping away.

  • I left a religion and a church and I found goddess/god and spirituality.
  • I left a marriage and a man I didn’t love and I found unconditional love.
  • I left a steady job with full benefits and found my creative niche.
  • I left what was expected of me and what was familiar and found myself.
  • I ventured out and left my birth family and found my family of choice.
  • I left what I thought I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt and found wisdom.
  • I left the demands of others and found my own path.
  • I left my youth and a need to look a certain way and found my beautiful Crone Self.
  • I left a house that was sticks and stones and found a home.
  • I let go of my life as I knew it and gained my soul.
  • I left my need to saveand heal others and found healing for myself.

In retrospect, I’ve gained gifts beyond my imagination by letting go and leaving the familiar. I am able to sit still and be silent, live in peace, face my shadow self with courage and light, bring awareness to everything happening in my life and around me, be mindful and present, and feel a spring of joy bubbling in my core.

spirituality

spirituality (Photo credit: Loulair Harton)

I have no regrets for anything Ive let go of, and given the chance to do it again I’d do the same. I’d choose life, the spiritual path, universal knowing and expansion and grace.

The Journey
by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice–
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do–
determined to save
the only life you could save.

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About brendamarroy

blogger, and author
This entry was posted in Awareness, Change, Consciousness, Healing, inspirational, Making choices, Mindfulness, motivational, peace, spiritual and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Loss and Gain

  1. Beautiful! Refreshing to Read your Work always!

  2. Very beautiful thoughts…It is hard to let go….for me of behaviours that were ingrained into my very being…still working on some… Diane

    • brendamarroy says:

      I know what you mean Diane. I think it’s a real challenge for all of us to let go of that which is familiar. That’s probably why this healing path is a lifelong journey. It’s like peeling an onion. I think I have it, I’m there…and then I see there’s another layer. So I start peeling again.

  3. pathwriter says:

    The river analogy is so perfect. I, too, have let go of many things in my life, left people and situations that were not good for me or that simply kept me from being true to myself and following my path. Sometimes it was easy, the decision clear. Other times, the decision was heart-wrenching. I think this is a lesson we have to renew each time we’re faced with that choice of moving on or painting the rocks blue. At the moment, I’m having to let go in several parts of my life, any one of which would be hard on its own…all together, they take my breath away some days. On those days, I want to paint the rocks blue, even though I know I can’t. As the saying goes, “This too shall pass”….a comfort in times like these. Thank you for this.

    • brendamarroy says:

      It’s funny you should mention, this too shall pass, because I seem to say that a lot lately. I also remind myself that weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning. There are some days on this journey when I feel helpless and hopeless, and others when I feel light and bright. It’s all part of life, isn’t it?

  4. Roseann T. Kriebel says:

    Dear Brenda~~~
    I salute your bravery and your wisdom…
    Love Rosie

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