Nursing My Aching Back

 This won’t be my usual blog because I’ve had an unusual week. Due to an aching back I have not spent the time that I usually do sitting at my desk and writing.

I’ve dealt with a backache for over a week. It got better last Sunday when I was out motorcycling, and Monday I felt good enough to make a trip to the store and to get a pedicure. I figured my back was better and all was well.

While in the kitchen on Tuesday morning, I leaned down to get something and must have turned the wrong way, because I felt a searing pain in my back again. For the rest of last week, the pain got better, then worse, then better, then worse. So I spent the better part of my uneventful week, taking it easy and just being quiet so my back could heal.

Red and white tigerbalm

Red and white tigerbalm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Every morning last week I massaged Tiger Balm into my back, then I’d spend the next half-hour to hour meditating and reading while leaning against a heating pad. With Paul acting as my sous chef, I prepared a meal on Wednesday, and that was the extent of my activities for the week.

I seldom have back pain because I practice gentle stretching, at least three-four times every day. What happened to even create this pain is beyond me, all I do know is that it presented me with a good opportunity to stay conscious, while I took care of myself.

What I would normally do in a situation like this is make the backache wrong. For most of my life, I bought the fallacy that I didn’t have time to get sick, because I had too many things to do. Being driven to clean my house, do my laundry, sit at my desk for hours writing, take my daily walk, garden, and the list could go on and on, obscures my vision of what really mattered in life.

I spent most of Tuesday being angry at my back, because it was keeping me from doing  the things I needed and wanted to do. I tried ignoring the pain, breathing light into it, and gently stretching my back.  I finally came to my senses, and as I saw how much meaning I attached to what I do, I also saw the insanity of fighting what is present in my life. When that happened, I decided to quit trying to bring my body into submission, stop making the backache wrong, and just be present to the process.

For the rest of the week I was quiet and I let it run its course.  I practiced moving gingerly and slowly, and I nurtured myself.  I cancelled my weekend plans to visit my son and daughter-in-law, and I just laid low and rested my body. I refused to let myself do anything that would bring more trauma to my back.


 I’m still feeling a slight twinge, but it’s better than last week. I want to get up and get back on the wheel of life, but my spirit is telling me to stay quiet a little while longer. So, I’m going to stay put today and start back slowly tomorrow.

This has been a positive experience for two reasons:
1.  I see how easy it is for me to fall into the trap of thinking I need to fight what is, because it doesn’t suit my agenda.
2.  I’m clear that it’s safe to bring awareness to any kind of pain, and be fully present to the experience.


About brendamarroy

blogger, and author
This entry was posted in Awareness, Consciousness, Healing, Making choices, Mindfulness, spiritual and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Nursing My Aching Back

  1. I’m sorry you’ve been down in your back, but I am glad you did what was right to allow your body to heal.

  2. Hermionejh says:

    It’s so hard to be present to the process – especially when it’s physical pain! I’m grateful that pain does subside, and that there are remedies to help. My back pain is a reminder that I need to get back to my PT exercises because they help so much. Cheers, Brenda, and I hope you’re feeling better and better. xo Jerri

  3. giannakali says:

    pain and illness are incredible teachers when we let them be, are they not?

    It seems some of the lessons truly cannot be had in any other way…still we fight against them. I do anyway…

    to feeling well now that the lesson has been learned!

    • brendamarroy says:

      Since I know that I am a student of life, and that planet earth is school, I am usually looking for insight into whatever situation is present. I do realize that sometimes a hat is just a hat, but often it carries other gifts and unerlying meaning.
      So, yes my dear gianna, I heartily agree with you. 🙂 🙂 (double smiles and big hugs for you)

  4. It is so interesting when we absolutely can’t do what we normally do ….life does move forward and adjustments made…or what we usually do…waits for us…. Hope you feel better soon…Diane

    • brendamarroy says:

      Hi Diane,
      Yes, I am learning that if I let go and take time to rest my body, the world does continue to turn, and stay on its axis.
      I think it may be harder for women to stop and rest because we’re conditioned to take care of families, a home, a social calendar, and many other things.
      What I’ve noticed is that the dirt that was visible on my hardwood floors last week is still there. I’ve made it okay to just let it be. My husband told me today before he left for work that he is going to vacuum tomorrow. So, there you go….my floors will be clean tomorrow!! 🙂 Thank you for your comment.

  5. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words says:

    very wise indeed….
    when Spirit wants our attention She gets it…
    I fight then surrender to listening and watching
    what i missed or overlooked in my
    hurry up get done mundane life…
    I have one now…and it si slowly drawing out of
    me what i need to be writing….
    *sigh*…and i will
    I hope you feel better soon Brenda….
    Take care…

    • brendamarroy says:

      Thank you maryrose. I wonder if the day will ever come when I will automatically bring awareness to whatever is happening in my life, before I take a stance against it. Changing programming is a lifelong tutorial and I’m grateful for goddess love which is all-encompassing, and ever present.

      Hugs to you. 🙂 Brenda

  6. Roseann T. Kriebel says:

    Very wise, Brenda!

I'm interested in what my readers think. Please leave a Comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s