Last weeks “What Keeps You From Listening?” poll results:
The majority of answers were: not sure, not interested, and self-focused. A few were too busy and thinking about other pressing issues. For one there was too much of nothing, two said they do listen, and one just doesn’t pay attention. Thanks to all who participated.
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I sometimes wish that life was even all the time, no ups and downs, no thorns among the roses, no peaks and valleys, and no good days and not so good days. etc. But I realize that this is not reality. I cherish those days when I wake up and I’m filled with energy and my body feels good. I love it when my creative juices are flowing, and words are coming to me so quickly that my hand can’t move fast enough to get them on the page. Those are the times when I feel abundant and I see possibility in every direction. I call these my peak experiences and I want them to be a constant in my life, however, I don’t think that life is meant to be spent on the peaks. It seems my greatest learning experiences come in the valley, so obviously the lower places have merit also.
Last week I spent a few days in the valley. Physically my body felt bloated and out of sorts, my energy was low, and I was dizzy on and off for three days. Because of how my body felt, I only made it to the pool two days for exercise, and I had at least four nights of fitful sleep. Psychologically, some of my moments were filled with thoughts of my life being meaningless and unproductive, like I was making no contribution to the world. When I find myself in these places, which seem like a deep crevasse, the only thing I know to do is to continue to surrender to the process and bless my life and my experience. I know I’m at choice and no matter how I feel, or what I’m thinking about myself and my life, I can still choose to trust my spirit and my path, even when it feels like I’ve fallen into a crater.
I had some rough times in the valley last week, but I also had some glorious peaks. One of my close friends of twenty-nine years came and spent four days with me. We had a wonderful time together and I cherished our special moments of sitting in our pajamas every morning and being present to each other. We talked and laughed and cried, we shared a few good meals around the dining room table, and we worked together at the local Fair. Being in her presence was awesome and inspiring. I also had a lovely motorcycle ride on Sunday. My husband and I headed out early in the morning and rode for nine hours. We were tired when we got home but we had a great time. Being on a motorcycle is such a sensual way to experience nature. When we’re riding through the mountains and the forests, we’re right there. I can see everything, I can smell the trees, and I can feel the sun and the air on my body. The experience exhilarates me, and it always humbles me as I realize how blessed I am to live in these beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains.
My high places are filled with life and light and joy. When I’m lifted into a higher realm, I can see beyond what my physical eyes see, and I feel like I’m flowing along in a crystal clear river. My writing flows, my clothes fit, my energy is high, and my thoughts are clear. When I’m in that place I know I’m home and I don’t want to leave. However, I must go back into the valley because the only way to avoid the peaks and the valleys is to stop walking and stand still.
I hold hope in my heart that I will keep growing into a more even place, where my highs are lower and my lows are higher. I believe that as I daily cultivate new thought processes about loving myself, and I consistently choose to be present and to surrender to what is, my being is changing. More and more I find myself living out of a whole new energy pattern as I continue to establish a new paradigm, moment by moment and breath by breath. My peaks and valleys are slowly becoming more even and I do not have as many polarized moments.
My big lesson last week happened on Saturday, while I was having a valley experience. I was ready to start my blog and did not yet know what to write about. I sat at my desk and struggled for a few moments before I realized what I was doing. I got up and walked away from my desk and into the next room, sat on the couch and processed my anxiety by breathing deeply. After I felt calmer I decided I couldn’t force anything and that the best thing for me to do was just surrender and let it go. I decided to take a shower and in the middle of washing my hair the thought, “peaks and valleys” came to me. In a matter of minutes I had a rough outline for my blog. I got out of the shower, came into my office, sat at my computer, and began to write. I saw clearly how I went from a valley to a peak when I stopped forcing a solution and made the choice to surrender.
When I find myself on the peaks I shout Hallelujah, and when I walk through the valley I take time to sit quietly and listen. In each place I find a part of myself, so I know the whole experience is necessary. Right now, I’m in between a peak and a valley and I’m acknowledging that both places are okay. I leave you with the question, “How do you handle your peaks and valleys?” A good exercise is to start writing in a journal what your up moments and down moments look like, how you act and react, and what you learn in each. If you’ve never done this, you may be surprised at what you find. Have a beautiful week.
My prompts for last week were: foil, trap, polite, and repair
Take the time to watch this 1:49 video. It will lift your heart. http://www.wimp.com/catdolphins