THE SIGNIFICANCE OF INSIGNIFICANT THINGS

 After my husband, Paul, read my blog last week, he said to me, “Who would have thought an insignificant word like thimble would have engendered such significant memories. That’s what I call ‘the significance of insignificant things’.”  

  That phrase has stayed with me all week. The  more I have thought about it the more I’ve seen the importance of understanding how it applies to building and fostering good relationships. In my relationships, I have to remember that because something isn’t important to me, doesn’t mean it’s not important to anyone else. Therefore, I must practice being tolerant and supportive of the differences between myself and others.   Dismissing what’s important to others as being insignificant is hurtful and creates wounding and many times a split in the relationship. 

  I recall the occasions in my life when something very significant to me was lightly dismissed as horse feathers by others, and the ensuing  hurt I felt as a result. And I’m certain I’ve been on the giving end of this also.  By not being cognizant of the fact that we are all unique, each of us living in our own skin and therefore feeling and seeing through our own filters, it can be easy to not be accepting and caring of each other.  It’s not that I walk around with the intention of hurting someone else; but it does happen when I think that what’s important to me is all that matters.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.  Yesterday,  I was sitting at my computer writing my blog, totally focused on my story. My husband, who was across the room playing a “Need for Speed” game on his computer says, “Hey babe, come here. I want you to see the awesome graphics on this screen.” I dismissed him with a wave of my hand and a comment, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m busy writing.  I’ll come when I get through.” After making the comment I turned and looked at him and in that moment I had an epiphany. I said to myself, “this is what I’m writing about right now.”  I’d casually dismissed something that was important to him. In my world, playing a computer game is  unimportant, but what I’m doing, which is writing and creating is important. I thought to myself, “There you go Brenda. Perfect example of the significance of insignificant things.” So, I got up immediately, went across the room and had a look at his graphics. I saw his excitement over what he was showing me and I gave myself time and permission to get excited with him. The result? A warm, connecting moment with my sweetheart. Did my blog lose anything by taking a short break? I don’t think so.

My final thought on this is that I not only want to care, I want to be supportive, loving, and compassionate. I want to remember to put myself in others shoes before I make a judgment about them or a disparaging remark to them. I also want to practice checking often to make sure the filter between my brain and my mouth is in place and that it’s clean and free of clogging dust particles that might impact the words I’m speaking.

And now, on a lighter note, here are a couple of  insignificant words that were left for me as prompts by Paul, that created significant memories for me this week. 

First word: Hop

 I had three memories surface with this one.

1) Doing the Bunny Hop at the local dances when I was a young girl. Mrs. Hotard, who lived in the town I grew up in, owned a restaurant with a dance hall above it.  On special occasions, like Halloween, Mardi Gras, and New Years Eve, Mrs. Hotard would have a dance upstairs for the young people in our town. My mother and my godmother were always chaperones so my brother and I were at all of the dances. We’d usually be in costume , and the place would be packed with youngsters. One of my favorite dances was the Bunny Hop. (Check this song out) We’d form a long line, holding on to the waist of the person in front of us, and we’d hop to the music.   Put your right foot forward, Put your left foot out, Do the bunny hop. Hop, Hop, Hop.

2) Going to sock hops.  When I was a teenager they started having sock hops in the gym on Saturday nights. I loved to dance so I’d go to almost all of the sock hops. Saturday was a busy day for me because I’d polish my black and white oxfords, starch my crinoline and hang it on the line to dry, and press my lime green poodle skirt. Then I’d make sure my top, whether it was a short sleeve sweater or a cotton button down the front shirt, was clean.  I’d pull my hair up in a pony tail with a ribbon tied around it, put some Tangee lipstick on,  and I was ready to go.  I’d get to the dance, stay till the last song was played and dance all night. Back then girls danced with girls, so if the boys were playing hard to get we didn’t care because there were plenty of girls to go around.Some of my favorite dances  were the Jitterbug, the Jamaica, and the Skip Cat.

3) I loved to play hopscotch. I was the hopscotch queen and would patiently wait for the recess bell to ring so I could run out to the playground and draw a hopscotch on the sidewalk. I’d play every chance I got and I even won a couple of hopscotch tournaments at school.

Second Word: Sand

Though I hadn’t thought about it in years, the word sand brought me back to the fun I used to have at Pontchartrain Beach in New Orleans. My family and I would go to the beach to spend the day. We’d load the car with blankets to lay on, towels, beach toys, drinks, and food. There were white sandy beaches, palm trees, a clean lake back then, and best of all, there was the midway with all the rides and games. We’d swim and play in the water for a while, then head for the midway and the rides. When we got tired riding we’d go back to the beach for more swimming and sunbathing.

My favorite rides were The Zephyr, Laff in the Dark, and the bumper cars.  The Zephyr was a wooden rollercoaster that went through a tunnel and had such great hills and twists and turns. We’d stand in line to get in the front car and would ride with our hands in the air screaming like banshees during the entire thrilling ride. Many times, we’d get off of the rollercoaster and run and get in line to get on it again. Laff in the Dark was a haunted house that was filled with ghouls and goblins at every turn. It was pitch black and we rode through in little cars.

As I was thinking about those fun-filled days at Pontchartrain Beach, I found myself humming a song that I hadn’t thought about in over forty years. Somehow it must have been buried in one of those memory vaults in the chambers of my brain, but because all of a sudden the song and the catchy tune were on my lips.   At the beach, at the beach, at Pontchartrain Beach, you’ll have fun, you’ll have fun, every day of the week. You’ll love the thrilling rides, laugh till you split your sides, At Pontchartrain Beach.  I now find myself walking around the house singing it.

Unfortunately, the amusement park at Pontchartrain Beach is no longer there. I’m not sure what happened to all the rides on the midway but I do know that the roller coaster that was blown up in the movie, RollerCoaster, which was filmed in the 70’s, was The Zephyr.

I’m looking forward to a new week and  more of my husband’s insignificant prompts that he writes for me in the morning. I never dreamed, when he agreed to write these prompts for me, the significance of the memories the words would generate. Till next week, pay attention to everything so you miss out on nothing. And have fun.

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About brendamarroy

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16 Responses to THE SIGNIFICANCE OF INSIGNIFICANT THINGS

  1. Brenda, your memories and thoughts are so vivid. You’re right, we might be missing some little treasures in life if we let seemingly insignificant things go by. I need to be more careful of that. The word “hop” I loved. I remember the dances well. We lived for that in our teenage years! Tangee lipstick! I can still see that orange. Like you, “sand” rememinds me of Pontchartrain Beach as well. Don’t remember the ticket being punched on the Zephyr for a second ride. I just remember being scared to death of that first high hill on the ride. I also really liked Laff in the Dark. Suzanne’s right, we had Disney World right at home and didn’t know it – and it was free admission! When we were kids, Mom and Dad used to take us all the time. We swam in the lake, watched the acts on the stage (remember Elvis was there at one time?), the beauty contests, and rode the rides as much as we could. It was an inexpensive, fun time. But I don’t remember RENTING a swimsuit! How gross! Gone are the days. Keep writing this wonderful blog, dear cousin. You’re always jogging my memory.

    • brendamarroy says:

      Hey Phyllis,
      Having my memory jogged is turning out to be a lot of fun. Remembering these things that have been long forgotten is inspiring me. It’s sad that the children of today will miss out on the awesome fun that we had as children. Those days of playing till you dropped and going to dances where the lights were actually on and the fun was clean and not riddled with sex seem to be gone. I do not remember Elvis at Lake Pontchartrain but I do remember him at the Municipal Auditorium because my mother took me and a couple of girlfriends to see him. She was so aggravated because all we did was scream and cry everytime he opened his mouth. Oh my, what memories.

      • Phyllis Marroy Boudreaux says:

        I didn’t see Elvis at Pontchartrain Beach but I know he was there one time. In regard to the dances, I have the same memories. The girls always danced fast dances with each other. Didn’t matter if the boys didn’t want to dance! We had fun. But we always hoped the boys would ask us to dance for our favorite slow songs. You’re absolutely right – kids today don’t know how to have fun. So many of them have everything, but yet have nothing.

  2. Oh Brenda, your memories and thoughts are so vivid! The first part of this article where you didn’t want to stop what you were doing to see what Paul wanted, made me think we all do that at times. LIttle things are most certainly not insignificant – we miss little treasures that mean so much if we let them pass by. Your word “hop” brought laughter to me as you described getting ready for the dances. Boy we lived for that didn’t we! Tangee lipstick! I hadn’t thought about that in years. “Sand” brought back the same memories of Pontchartrain Beach. I was tickled by Suzanne’s memories as well. She’s right, we had Disney World right at home and didn’t know it! LIke you, I never heard of renting a swim suit. How nasty! I don’t remember getting your ticket punched on the Zephyr – I was just scared to death as it went up the first high hill! I loved Laff in the Dark too. Keep writing your wonderful blog, dear cousin. You’re jogging my memory all the time.

  3. Paul Davidson says:

    Great blog my Dear!!! I’m delighted and honored to be able to help you with your flow of inspirational juices! Keep it up my love. As always, you never cease to inspire/honor/impress me…

  4. wallace marroy says:

    Your memories are my memories. Thank you for jogging my mind. Do you know what my CB handle was in the 70’s? Skip Cat. Guess how I came up with the moniker?
    Wallace

    • brendamarroy says:

      Oh my gosh. I had no idea. I don’t even remember you having a CB. I used to looooooove to skip cat. About 6years ago Alexandra and I were visiting mother and we met Jerry Becnel and his wife at a little club in Metairie. Jerry and I got on the dance floor and did the skip cat and the jamaica. What fun we had…. Love, B Brenda Lightfeather Marroy

  5. Rosemary says:

    Great blog!! We are all guilty of this action–treating things that are significant to others as insignificant. You definitely hit the proverbial nail on the head. Today—I will strive to be more aware of the significant things in others lives!! Thank you for the reminder.
    As for you memories of the park at Pontchartrain they struck a personal chord. Even though we did not meet until many years later we did share the excitement of the park. My family came often to New Orleans and Lake Pontchartrain Park was always on the list of things to do. Riding the Zephyr was alway a thrill!!
    Paul is a great inspiration–not surprised!
    Love and Hugs to you both.

  6. Hi! I am doing my fourth assignment for “Breaking Into Print” right now and was reading the LRWG weekly newsletter when I came across your blog site!
    I read it and love it; the word promts from your husband are fantastic and the topic for today was very inspiring. I find that too often I treat my children with this “in a minute, when I’m done what I’m doing” mentality. Your post really made me think!
    Anyway, I have challenged myself to do a blog post every day of the week (excluding Sunday’s, because we all need a break sometimes!) for an entire year! Feel free to check it out 🙂

    • brendamarroy says:

      Hi Courtney,
      I checked out your blog and left you a comment and subscribed. I’m looking forward to following you on your clean food journey.
      Thanks for your encouraging words about my message.

  7. Jennifer says:

    Great blog entry YaYa. I think we all lay prey at times, being too busy to really listen or hear others. Please continue to share your thoughts, ideas, opinions I look forward to reading future installments. Love You Hugs and Kisses to you and Paul…YaYa!! xxx

    • brendamarroy says:

      Thanks yaya. Living in the busy world we live in makes it easy to get caught up in ‘stuff’. That’s why I start every day praying for awareness and presence so I can pay attention to all the small details that I normally miss. Love to you and my baby boy.

    • Suzanne Marroy Minvielle says:

      Dear Brenda, Loved your reflections on “Sand”! I, too, have wonderful memories of Pontchartrain Beach. We actually had a Disney World a few miles from home and didn’t realize it. I told my grandsons that people would go to the beach and could RENT a bathing suit to swim in the lake. Do you remember that? How nasty is that! Terrific circus acts, beauty pageants, and talent contests were held on the permanent stage. It was all free. High school clubs would go on trips there – 4-H Club, our band, the Beta Club, etc. If you wanted to ride a second time on the Zepher, you stayed in the car and a worker would punch a hole in your ticket. After the second time around, you paid as you walked off. In the tunnel, everyone either screamed or kissed (if you were with your boyfriend). Riders would hold their arms up high to ride down the first hill. It truly was an exciting rush of feelings!

      • brendamarroy says:

        Suzanne,
        So good to hear from you. I love your memories of Pontchartrain Beach and I have to say yours are much clearer than mine. I don’t remember being able to stay on The Zephyr and getting your ticket punched. How cool is that? As for the Laff in the Dark that I remember. It was great to ride it with a boyfriend.
        Wasn’t there a bath house at the beach that we could go into and change and even shower? I may be getting it confused with the pool at Shell where my brother and I used to go swimming.
        Miss you and love you my cousin.

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